Sweeney's Wound Too Tight...
 

I came to this realization in hour 9 of my 10 hour commute week.   My normally peaceful and scenic drive through the Tenderloin was neither peaceful nor scenic on this rainy Friday morning. I can't believe I forgot that today was national 'double park your car on a busy street during morning commute hours' day.  Well, this is just about as fun as it sounds. What's even better is that it was also 'push your stolen shopping cart full of aluminum cans in the middle of the road' day.  This is more of a regional holiday but just as much fun and a much better parade.  What luck for me.  I had front row seats.

Normally, I use profanity to express my feelings toward these drivers and pedestrians about 1-2 times between my apartment and the freeway every day (~ .5 miles).  Today's count was 13...unless you consider 'jack-ass' profane, in which case, the number was more like 27 but I really don't think that counts.  Do you?  Either way, good times.  I think I'm losin' it.

When I am king, I'm going to implement mandatory annual competency testing.  This will cover an array of general topics that are crucial to your ability to function in the real world.  Things like when its appropriate to talk on your cell phone in public, personal hygiene, how to know if you exceed the 9 item limit in the grocery check out line BEFORE you unload all your crap on the counter and, of course, driving.  I can already see that driving is going to require its own section.  And if you 'own' a shopping cart filled with recyclables and have ever pushed it in the middle of the street, you fail immediately.  Flunkees are required to attend state run 'general knowledge' classes until they are deemed capable of functioning in society.  This might increase taxes but you can't put a price on sanity.  More on this idea as I flush it out.

Deep breath.  I feel better.  I need to go home.  I need a drink.  Who's with me?  Anyone still working this late on a Friday?  Hellooo?  I can be home in an hour.  That is, unless today is somehow '10 car pile up on 280' day.  In which case, I might be late.

Dave